- My Rating: 4.5/5
- Goodreads Rating: 4.29/5
- Year Published: 2023
- Page Count: 288
“I spend my days waiting for something to happen. Something glorious, even something tragic. Nothing ever happens.”
Synopsis
Lucy is on the cusp of adulthood, a liminal place between her childhood and her future. It is the 1990s in Crossmore, her small Irish town. The summer heat presses down, and she expects this summer to be just like the rest have been–until Susannah comes along. Friends since childhood, Lucy is shocked to find herself drawn to Susannah in a way she knows she shouldn’t be.
It’s the beginning of a secret love. Lucy is terrified for anyone to find out, given their town being steeped in tradition. Her childhood best friend, Martin, is also looking to make their friendship something more–forcing her to split her time between two lives that couldn’t be more different. But as summer’s end looms, so does her decision. It terrifies her–one choice, and she could lose her family, her people, her home. Choose otherwise, and she could lose all that makes her happy, all that makes life worth living.
Is it worth it to live up to the expectations around you at the expense of your joy? Is it possible to be happy, even if you’re living a lie? In this coming-of-age novel, Lucy grapples with feelings every person can resonate with and faces the choices that ultimately decide who we are.
The Quick Review (Spoiler-free)
This was a beautiful book. The prose was poetic at times, gut-wrenching and delicate. Each word felt so carefully placed. The story itself was slow but matched perfectly with Lucy’s impression of the summer. Written in first-person, most of the novel takes place inside Lucy’s head–her thoughts, her experiences, her ruminations. Less of the focus was on the plot, and more of it on Lucy as an ever-growing person and as a developing character.
Picking quotes for this review was difficult because I highlighted so many passages, ones that managed to put words to repressed feelings I remember from when I was seventeen. The prose alone earned this book a high rating, but I did lower the rating slightly because it was a tiny bit slow.
“I want the full version of myself to exist under the pale skies of Crossmore. I want to feel blessed by the serenity of the wasteland again.”
The Long Review (Spoiler-free)
Likes
As I mentioned above, I loved the prose in this book. Howarth managed to explain emotions I’ve long thought of as undescribable–longing for home, for love, and above all, a deep-seated self-loating that many teenagers struggle with. Lucy makes decisions, hates herself for them, and continues to make the same ones. She’s realistic, she’s flawed, and it makes her all the more endearing.
I also loved how realistic a depiction it was of growing up. Lucy has had the same friends since she was a child and has grown and changed alongside them. For her whole life, she’s walked the same meadows, struggled at the same school, and existed in a life that was repetitive and sometimes dull. It was so refreshing to read about a normal girl, her ordinary life, and her common struggles.
“I must take his beating heart, cut myself out of it, and bury it right here in the garden.”
Dislikes
My only complaint was that the plot itself moved slowly–it almost felt like moving through syrup. However, I think the pace matched the style of the book well, so this is a minor complaint.
Themes
The entirety of this novel focuses on growing up. What would you give to cling to the past? Is it worth forsaking your future, your potential? What makes someone a good person–their intentions or their actions? If you hurt people you love in an attempt to protect them, are you wrong for it?
The book also deals with family, especially the complications of a mother/daughter relationship. Lucy is distant from her brothers, desperate for her mothers’ love, largely ignored by her father. Does it matter that there is potential for love there, even if it isn’t manifesting itself right now?
There are many other themes that are woven carefully into this book, and I’ll let you explore them for yourself.
“Let me take it too far, let me cause irreparable damage. Darling, let me hurt you.”
Would I recommend?
I would recommend for fans of queer romance–if that’s not your taste, I would avoid it. The entirety of the plot revolves around Lucy and Susannah. However, it is an amazing book, and I highly recommend it!
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